


The Death of Me

by sp0ratixal



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Sad times, Why Did I Write This?, kill me, pretty short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 02:49:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7667362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sp0ratixal/pseuds/sp0ratixal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not his fault, but he took the fall. A life takes a life, and a death makes a death, don't let me go alone, my love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Death of Me

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't seen the movie in a while and my memory is terrible, so I sincerely apologize for the inaccuracies. I wrote this on my phone for lack of a computer, so I also apologize for spelling errors and for the length of the paragraphs. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this, and constructive criticism is appreciated!

Hux stared ahead, a grim look on his face, and an unconscious lover in his arms. Starkiller is exploding, everything is crumbling around them, and everything is going to shit; putting it simply. Nothing had been going well that day, and it seemed like things were not about to get any better. Kylo's blood was currently dripping- no, gushing down his face and leaving a harsh, red trail in the clear, white snow. He glanced down, taking in the pale, bloody face he was carrying, and steeling himself, because Kylo doesn't deserve to die like this.

Hux knows he's going to take the fall for this failure, and he is fully prepared for that. But as he walked, looking down at the weak, barely breathing man in his arms, he doesn't know if Kylo is as prepared as he is. He's always been a sensitive person, for as long as Hux has known him he's always been one to let emotion take the wheel. Upon hearing the sentence Hux is bound to receive, Kylo will probably react in a volatile manner, one that exceeds all the other violent outbursts he's had. Hux is always aware of how Kylo feels, he's quite terrible at hiding things from Hux, always has been.

Hux came to a stop at a snow covered cliff, waiting for a small transport ship to pick them up and, hopefully, treat their wounds. Hux made it a point to be sure that there were always extra transport ships at the base at all times, but he never expected them to be used for such an emergency as this.

He'd broadcasted their location, so now all Hux has to do is wait. He stared ahead at the red light; the burning scarlet of his hard work, his determination, and the last few years of his life going up in smoke and explosions. He mourned the progress he had finally made, and mourned for a weak little boy, trying his best buy always failing.

The ground beneath him began to shake and crumble, and Hux instinctively tightened his grip on the precious man in his arms, as a ramp was extended down on the edge of the cliff, and Hux ran towards it. He was trying his best not to harm Kylo as he raced over the disintegrating cliff, an transport ship just in time to save the day. Hux could stop and laugh at the morbid irony; the total cliché of what was currently happening, but the blood from Kylo's wound was beginning to puddle in his sleeve. All this running around was not helping either of their conditions, but Hux was more worried about Kylo. He could hardly feel his chest moving at all.

When they got on the ship, there was luckily a few med supplies on board, but only the bare minimum, not enough for what Kylo needs. Hux only needed a few bandages, but Kylo was on the verge of death, barely even clinging to life by the time he got them both on the ship.

When Kylo woke up, Hux was sitting on the edge of the beat up cot, holding his hand, there to smile at him and wipe the beginnings of tears from his eyes. A lot has happened within the span of a few hours, but at least they were both a constant, their connection something that they could always count on.

"You're not getting sentimental on me, now are you?" Kylo gave a shaky bark of a laugh and slowly shook his head. A strand of hair fell on his recently cleaned face, and Hux brushed it away, careful not to disturb the stitching.

"Never." Kylo's voice sounded raw, his throat probably damaged from the lightsaber wound. Hux couldn't stand seeing Kylo in such physical pain, Hell, Hux wanted to slay anyone who'd ever caused Kylo even the slightest bit of pain. Hux grimaced, thinking about his reaction when Snoke inevitably tells them about his punishment. Hux sighed and pushed the thought out of his head by bringing his face closer to Kylo's, and kissing him. It was probably more rough than necessary, and it probably wasn't a smart move given both their conditions. Hux couldn't bring himself to care, and neither could Kylo.

"Now who's getting sentimental?" Kylo said, his voice cracking in more than a few places. Somehow Hux knew he would be fine, despite all this physical damage, if it wasn't for his emotional scarring and the news soon to come. Couldn't they catch a break? Couldn't they just have been happier, more useful? They barely even got to live out their lives, and now they're going to be taken away. Fate is a cruel mistress, isn't she?

One of the surviving cadets walked in, and cleared his throat, trying to look anywhere other than the General and Ren's interlocked hands. "There is a call from Snoke, and he requested both of you see him, immediately."

It's time. 

Hux nodded, a blank look falling onto his features, erasing any trace, any semblance of happiness that had been there previously. "Understood. Thank you soldier; you may be dismissed." The soldier firmly nodded and hurried out of the room, probably anxious to leave the two, and their public shows of affection, alone.

Hux helped Kylo on his feet, trying his best to keep a calm façade, for both of their sakes. Because if Hux couldn't keep a straight face, then everything else was doomed, even though it seemed everything already was.

The room was small, and dark. But it was still tall, and they had to crane their necks a bit to look at Snoke directly in the face. They waited with bated breath, Kylo, because he hadn't a clue of what was happening; Hux, because he knew exactly.

 

Kylo stared up at the hologram, trying his best to conceal the absolute horror he felt at the words that just came out of his Master's mouth. At first, he assumed he had just heard wrong. There's no way he would give that order, none. There's definitely a mistake, a flaw, or something! He stole a quick glance at Hux, trying to gauge his reaction on all of this, but the redhead was unresponsive. Calm, even. Kylo was beginning to suspect that Hux knew something about this, or even just expected it. What kind of normal person can be told that they're to be publicly executed and keep a straight face? Unless he'd known, and had time to grieve himself.

"When is it to be held, Supreme Leader?" Asked the General next to him. Kylo directly looked at him now, seeing if he had any cracks, any signs of surprise, or anger, anything. The only thing he found, a sign of anger, or maybe a sign of fear, is his clenched fists and overly pale skin. Hux is naturally pale, but this was a ghostly shade of white, almost making him look translucent. Kylo guessed that Hux had been expecting the sentence, but hadn't confirmed it yet, judging by his ever so slight reaction.

Kylo was beginning to get pissed. The General had never done something so drastic, and it wasn't even only his fault! Why not sentence Kylo as well? Hux doesn't deserve to die like this, taking the entire blame for a failure on the entire First Orders part. Hell, his wounds haven't even healed yet! Hux's uniform is stained a dark brown in the places where he's covered in his own blood, and the blood of his comrades! Kylos breathing became deeper as he fought for control of his facial expressions, not wanting to show his anger to Snoke.

The Supreme Leader lifted his head a bit higher, and he tapped his finger once, seemingly thinking about Hux's question, even though he had probably already figured out where it would be held, how it would, when it would, maybe even who he wanted to be the one to kill Hux. Kylo fought of the urge to growl and lunge at Snoke, because he's still only a hologram, and Kylo couldn't kill him unless they were physically together. He instead settled on scowling slightly, keeping his anger in check for as long as possible.

Snoke finally looked down, staring icily at them both. "It is to be held tomorrow, at the strike of twelve." 

Hux simply nodded, and stood his ground. "Understood, Sir. I apologize for the failure."

At that, they were dismissed.

Kylo spun Hux around as soon as they were out of the room. There is no way he's okay with that! As he released his anger, some of the Force flew out as well, shattering glass and shaking the walls around them. 

"How are you okay with all of this?!" Kylo snarled, "you haven't even healed and you're going to be killed? It's not just your fault!" 

Hux put his hand on Kylo's face, cupping it softly. He never really got an opportunity to do that, but since Kylo didn't bother to put his mask on today, it seemed Hux was taking full advantage. Kylo wasn't complaining though, they hadn't been able to do this much since Hux took on the position of General. Scandalous and all that.

"I'm going to miss you, Kylo." Hux leaned in and kissed him, slow and sweet. But the kiss was too slow, too bitter. A tear slid down one of their faces, neither of them able to tell who it was at that time, and they didn't really care. Hux pulled away first, a rare smile on his face, but it was filled with longing. The longing for one more day, for one fixed mistake. "I should go, the shuttle will be ready soon, and I must depart as immediately as possible." 

And with that, Hux turned and stalked away, like their interaction never happened.

Kylo never questioned Snokes orders. Not once, in the entire time he'd been under his wing; not once, even when he was used as a weapon against the resistance, told to do unspeakable things. If Kylo was anything, it was definitely loyal. Order after order, Kylo followed, no questions even entering his mind. Kylo was always loyal, no matter what. But this time, he just couldn't. Hux was the one thing that had made him- dare he say, happy. Even when Kylo had outbursts, or even when he was distant, Hux stayed, and he never pushed too hard.

He stared at the screen, tears blurring his eyes, the only thing discernable to him was the bright splash of unique orange, bobbing up and down as the once high and revered General walked towards his death. That shouldn't be him up there; Kylo should be there, he should help, he should bring Hux back with

him and they should run; they should run far away and they would finally be happy. No Snoke, no failures, no disappointment.

God, why did it have to be broadcast live? Why couldn't Kylo just be left to grieve, and not watch as his beautiful lover was about to be shot through the head? As much as he wanted to turn the screen off and look away, he just couldn't, wouldn't. Kylo never even told Hux how much he meant to him, and now he's just going to die, like that?

It only takes one shot for anyone to die. One well placed shot and you're off to wherever it is you go when you die.

Kylo drew in a shaky breath, and put his own blaster to his head, tears still falling down his face, one little droplet after another.

He sobbed, loud and wet and throatily, he sobbed.

His fathers death, by his own hand was the thing that thing put him on the edge of falling into oblivion, but Hux's death is what will end it all. Kylo stared at the screen, sending one last thought into Hux's head, seconds before he was to be killed.

"My ears are ringing and my breathing is slow but your name is the only thing on my lips, on my mind. I guess you really will be the death of me."

Somehow, Kylo hears Hux smile softly in his head, and Kylo weakly smiles back.

"I love you, Kylo Ren."

The trigger is pulled on the screen just as Kylo's world goes black.


End file.
